leaven'....

...on a jet plane.... this afternoon for California...going to visit a client in Glendale and I'm not really looking forward to it. This project has not gone well and this is the first project for this new Trainer (why they hired this guy, I'll never know...if I were doing the hiring, I would never have considered him) and that's just what I need....for this training to not go well on top of everything else that's gone wrong.

I've been on the road (or in the air) a lot more than I anticipated when I took this job. I've been to Seattle about a dozen times (that's where my company is based) and to Kansas, New York, Salt Lake and California a couple times since I started with McKesson / Practice Partner a little over 6 months ago. The reason why I took this job is so I wouldn't have to live the "road warrior" life any more, but so far it hasn't quite worked out that way. Of course I had to travel in the beginning just to learn the product, but having to go to clients sites to play PR is not my bag...especially since I don't really care for this product...I like my job, but I just don't care for the software.

Oh well...I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I foresee having to get on a plane a few days every 6 weeks or so, but I see in the future that I'll get to be planted more than not. And that's such a blessing at this time for many reasons.

1. Gas prices - I can't imagine having to commute everyday to work. Getting to work from home these days is a raise in itself.
2. Flexability - I can schedule my appointments around my home life. I can get the girls off to school, pick Jess up...take a couple hours off in the afternoon if I want and work in the evenings if I wish.
   
3. I do have a great team - And that's huge. At any time I can send out an eMail with a question and I'll get at least 4 responses. Although I'm secluded in my office anywhere from 6-12 hours a day...I'm never alone.
   
4. Get to see family and friends - When I do have to travel...if there's anyone in that state, I make a point of connecting with them while I'm there. I got to see Rhyannon about a month ago while I was in New York. I got to see Damian a week later while I was in Salt Lake...and of course going to Califorinia...there are all kinds of family and friends to see, but most important is to see my kids. I'm going to see Joel tonight...Ally Monday or Tuesday I hope.
   

In short...leaving is bitter sweet. I don't like leaving home (home is where Greg is)...but I do get to see family and friends on the expense of McKesson. Thank you "uncle mickey"!

and it continues from August in to September....will it ever end?

I was going to be out of town for Gabe's birthday so we...me, Greg, Troy and Jodi took Gabe and Rosie out for dinner at the King Fish in Tempe. We had a great time with great food and great company.


Then came Rachel's 14th birthday on the 26th. Of course I didn't know Rachel until 2 1/2 years ago so I can't tell you about her birth, but what I can tell you is that she certainly plays a key part in me deciding to make a big change in my life. It was at our first meeting that I knew that this was where I am supposed to be. And also if it weren't for the fact that Rachel is who she is...kind, sweet, respectful and not the typical teenager at all...I would never have became an Arnold.


I was going to be out of town for Rachel's birthday as well...so we took her out to dinner on our way to the airport...it was there that we gave her a birthstone necklace.



Then a week later...I made the dinner of her choice (shephard's pie) and she got to invite several friends over. We had an ice cream cake and then Greg dropped them all off for some shopping and treated them all to a movie.






Then came Greg's birthday....September 2nd he turned the ripe old age of 41. I keep telling him that he's in his mid 40's just to make myself feel better. We didn't have big plans but since his day falls the day after Labor day...we planned a bbq with our good friends the Hansen's and relaxed in their pool. I made his favorite pecan pie for dessert.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Greg!!!







Then Rosie's birthday is September 4th...her parents came out the weekend before to celebrate with her, the following weekend we took her and Gabe out to Macaroni Grill. I wish I could give the world to Rosie...she is such a special person. She is such a good daughter-in-law, she's such a hard worker, she is so supportive of Gabe and is the best mom to our grand daughter. We love you Rosie!

The month long celebration ends with Ren. My baby brother Aaron turned 41 on September 6th. Who'd of thought that my sickly, annoying baby brother that I used to physically fight with would turn out to be one of my very best friends and on my list of those that I most admire. I honor him because he has grown in to an intelligent, hardworking, successful man in all aspects of his life. I love him because he has always been there to listen to me, give me sound advise and has loved and supported me no matter what. I love you Ren!!! Happy Birthday.

Now we get a little "breather". The next slew of birthdays don't start 'till the end of October! PPHHEEEWWW.........

and next.......

comes Gabe. I went to see Dr. Nanni 2 days before my due date and he checked me and said...
"We must have miscalculated...you won't deliver for a couple of weeks...you're not ready." Honestly, I wasn't disappointed by those words, because frankly...I wasn't ready to have my first child. I didn't mind being pregnant and I was scared to death to be a mother and be responsible for another human being. That day I came home from work and started getting sick...I called my mom and told her that I thought I had eaten something bad or was getting the flu because I had cramps. She chuckled and informed me that I wasn't sick...I was having contractions. I had no idea...I was expecting labor to feel more like earthquakes (yah...I was young). I guess Dr Nanni was wrong too. I made it through the night, spent the majority of the next day at my moms and decided to head to the hospital that next evening. I didn't deliver Gabriel Marc until 4:10am and as soon as he was born, Mike went running out of the delivery room and down the hall way to announce to all family members waiting that we had a boy. He came trotting back down the hall way only to have the door shut in his face...you can't just walk back in to a sterile room.

Thank Heavens for mothering instincts...because for someone who was so scared and unprepared to have a child, pure instincts sure kicked in. Even the once gross thought of nursing came easy to me. How could it not be...I had just given birth to the most beautiful baby ever born (the same thought I got each time I had a new baby). I was sure all mothers were jealous of me.

I think there is something about August babies, because Gabe too was very easy. The only trouble we had with him as a baby was when at 4 months I went back to work and he basically starved for the first several days because all he knew was nursing...we had never given him a bottle.

Being the first nephew and grandchild from the Rodriguez side...and the fact that Onitie Melinda had take up photography, Gabe was of course the most photographed baby ever. And I don't think he ever took a bad one.

Gabe sailed all the way through middle school with ease and was an allstar athlete. He played soccer one season, he played baseball through freshman year in high school and even gave wrestling a go. High school proved to be a very challenging time for Gabe...it was through those difficult years that he spread his wings and rebelled...and who could blame him considering all he went through. Being the oldest child at home, it was he who was often held responsible by Mike for the actions of his siblings. And for those who now know what those years were like in the Rodriguez house hold, you can only imagine the challenge Gabe went through to cope through those years.

Gabe's senior year in high school an Army Recruiter talked him in to considering joining the military. The thought of my child leaving home just about killed me, but it was a motivator to get him through school. He graduated and 3 weeks later at 3am, the Recruiter picked him up and took him to LA where he would wait until that late afternoon to board a plane to Fort Sill Oklahoma. The Recruiter promised me that Gabe would be able to give me a call to tell me when and where he was departing from. The call didn't come until 2pm and that call gave me just over an hour to drive to LAX, run through the terminal to one of the last gates on that row to find him 4 bodies from boarding the plane. It was at that very emotional moment that I gave him the letter that I had written to him a couple days after he was born.

That day was the very first day I came home from work to a completely empty house and pure panic engulfed me. I was so upset I had to track down a neighbor to calm myself. Gabe's departure was much more than just my first baby leaving my home, it was my support leaving the home, but I didn't blame him...didn't blame him at all. His departure made me realize that I wasn't doing my children any favors by keeping them in a negative, miserable situation. I found a new place and moved myself and the rest of the kids out 1 month later.

Gabe has always taken care of his mother. He sent me paperwork from his fist military bank account to be a signer, with a note attached saying..."dip in to it when ever you need to". Although I never "dipped", I kept that note as a reminder of the generosity of my son, and was most upset when the old wallet (with nothing else in it) was stolen out of the center console of my car just a couple years ago. Also...when we moved out we didn't have a tv...as a family we started a collection jar to save up for one. Christmas time was approaching and we had just enough to get a 19". Gabe came home on leave a couple days before Christmas, saw what we had purchased, took it back and bought us a 27" tv for Christmas.

Gabe had originally signed up for 3 years, 3 years turned in to 7 as he signed up to go abroad, where he lived in Italy for 4 years (he absolutely loved it and would love to live there some day). Shortly after he returned, he joined the National Guard and served another couple years...so all in all, Gabe has served our country for 9 years.

It was in the National Guard that he met Rosie Gamez. I didn't want to like her when I first met her, but I'm not known for being a good judge of character. Rosie has turned out to be the most loving, hard working, supportive partner for Gabe. I love her dearly and love the beautiful grand daughter that she has given me (with #2 grand daughter on the way). Last year Gabe, Rosie and Mia moved out here to give Arizona a shot. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have family around.

Gabe, because you were the oldest and we were in the situation that we were in...I leaned on you and depended on you much more than is probably healthy. You went through a lot as a child and teenager and I know you harbor quite a bit of anger over the whole experience. I can't tell you how heavy the burden of guilt I carry for what I put you and your brothers and sisters through. I owe you a lot for taking care of me in a way that a son shouldn't have to. I am grateful every day for you and for all you do for me. I love your sense of humor, with your whit and ability to mimic just about any accent...you keep us all laughing. I'm very proud of you and of your family. I look forward to watching you grow as a person, a husband and a father.

Happy 29th Birthday my beautiful son....XOXO~ma

and the celebrations continue.....

August 11, 1984 was one of the most memorable days of my life...

I was (almost) 9 months pregnant, I had spent the summer by a pool wearing a red and white striped bathing suite so I showed up at the hospital with a (what looked like a watermelon) striped belly. I didn't know what I was having, but I already had 3 boys...I was afraid to dream of having a girl. A friend of mine was working in labor and delivery that early morning, but would be getting off her shift soon. She checked me, informed me that I was indeed in labor and should stay - and then instead of heading home to be with her 4 boys...she stuck around to see me through my delivery. I wasn't quite sure why...I thought she was just being nice.

Dr. Nanni came in later and checked me...and as soon as he did...he looks up and says, "Do you want to know what it is?" Confused...I asked him how could he tell me now? He went on to inform me that my baby turned and is now breach and so he could tell what it is. I'm one of those very few that didn't ever want to know in advance what the sex of my baby was. I love surprises...and getting that BIG surprise after the hard work of labor was kind of my reward to myself (I know...go a head and say it). So...I told him "no...don't tell me"! "Wait a minute...breach...does that mean I have to have a C-Section?" Not this well prepared mother who had already given birth 3 times in less than 5 years. With the help of a couple nurses standing on stools on either side of me - pushing down on my stomach...Dr. Nanni reached inside of me...he was able to pull my baby girl out....butt first. It's a girl...it's a girl...it's a girl. I got what I was afraid to dream of!!!

That dream state from having a girl has continued now for 24 years. Rhyannon Joy Rodriguez is hands down the best and easiest child ever born. She was content, she never cried and always well behaved. As she grew I never had to worry about her behavior in school, she always did her work to the best of her ability and it showed...she always got great grades. She took piano lessons, then violin and then finally stuck with the cello. She played soccer, water polo, was in the Chaffey orchestra and took the metro link to LA on Saturdays to participate in the Cal St LA youth symphony. She was awarded the Mills Mall high school scholarship and played Janet in Greece. I'll never forget the day I got a call from Rhyannon while I was at work telling me that she was accepted to UCLA (just to name a few of her accomplishments).

I was a bit worried about her leaving home...although she was very capable and involved, Rhyannon was rather shy when it came to everyday, regular things like going in to a store on her own or even getting on the phone and ordering pizza. But I got her all moved in to her dorm and she never looked back.

She graduated from UCLA with a degree in Music History in 4 short years and did it all on her own,debt free. She's always had a passion for music (we all love music, but she's passionate). Her focus is not in performing it, but studying it and writing about it. She has proven her talent over and over again as she has been published many times (google her name...also check out rj rodriguez-lewis). And boy has she grown in other ways...she's moved to far away places with out a place to live or a job to support her self and with in days, has her life in order.

Rhyannon fell in love with an Englishman a couple years ago (they met while she was visiting a friend who was studying a broad). After going through the agony of a long distance relationship, she decided to change her '06 holiday visit to Oxford to an indefinite stay. They married in an intimate ceremony 6 months later in an Oxford court house on May 30th, 2007. I was sooo lucky to be there to witness it.

Now here we are in August of '08 and Rhyannon is back in the states, but on the east coast. She is in New York where she is waiting for her Masters program to start at NYU. Rob is still in Oxford finishing out his obligations and if all goes well, will join her in October.

Being Rhyannon's mother has been nothing short of a priviledge. She lives up to her name...she has brought me nothing but "joy" for 24 years. And because she has always been so easy...I owe her a HUGE apology. I'm guilty of taking advantage of the fact that she was always so unproblematic. I took for granted that she was always okay because she made wise choices. Don't get me wrong, I worry...as you all know I'm a worrier, but I worried less about her, because she is who she is.

Rhyannon...I don't ever want you to interpret my lack of worry over you as thinking less about you than I do your brothers and sisters....because NOTHING could be further from the truth. You are constantly on my mind. Your well being, your health and your happiness is my priority. I love you more than you will ever know and I don't ever want you to go a minute with out understanding that. I'm so, so very proud of you and I am grateful every day that I was given the opportunity to be called your mother!

Happy Birthday my beautiful girl! XOXOX~ma

Two reasons to celebrate.........

August starts out with a BANG. August 1st is the day we (the Alder clan) celebrates not one, but two amazing people. And do we ever have reason to celebrate!

First off is the infamous Aunt Janet. Famous I say because those of us not just inside the family, but outside the family all know her as Aunt Janet, and love her and are loved by her. Here are just a few reasons why...

• Janet makes everyone around her feel like they are the most important person...and it's sincere.
• Janet makes everyone around her feel like they are beautiful and smart...and it's sincere
• Janet has taken her nieces and nephews in as if they were her own...and it's sincere
• Janet has taken children and friends of her nieces and nephews in as if they were her own...and it's sincere
• Janet has always been there to listen and support us no matter what....and it's sincere
• Janet has always changed plans and traveled far to be there for us at important events...and with a smile.
  
• Janet has shown us all the true meaning of motherhood and home maker...she's so talented
• Janet has always amazed us with such amazing meals and treats......she's so talented
• Janet has always taken the time to teach us how to make amazing meals and treats...she's so generous
• Janet is a great example of perseverance...she works so hard
• Janet is a great example period....I try to follow her
  
• Janet finally got to retire...and we couldn't be happier for her! And for us, because that means we get more time with her! (yah...I'm selfish that way)

I love you Janet. I don't think you even comprehend the impact that you've had on all of us. Words don't express the gratitude we all have for all you've done for us.

*****************************************************************************************************************

The second reason (but certainly not the least) reason why we have to celebrate the 1st of August is Randy. We celebrate Randy because:

• Randy always has a smile on his face....and it's contagious
• Randy is always laughing...and it's contagious
• Randy is always calm...and it's contagious
• Randy never speaks an unkind word...and we try to follow his example
• Randy comes home from work and finds his house full of people...and he welcomes them
• Randy works very hard to support his family...and he is successful
• Randy is unselfish and he shares with others....he's so generous
• Randy is a great husband and father...he's a great example
• Randy is a great brother and uncle...he's a great example

I love you Randy. I don't think you comprehend the impact that you have had on our lives. In my moments of trying to teach my kids correct principles, it's you that I most often use as an example. Thank you for being that example. Thank you for being so great to my best friend, my sister. Thank you for sharing and for always being so welcoming.

August is a crazy month...filled with birthdays every few days (and spilling in to September), but what better way to start it out with. Let the celebrations begin!

Post traumatic disorder.......

December 22nd, 2006 around noon, I was baking Christmas cookies (not my usual holiday activity) in attempt to spread a little holiday cheer to my new found Arizona neighbors before we headed off to California to spend the Christmas holiday with family. I had just set a batch in the oven when my cell phone rang. It was Gabe...not a big deal...he told me that he had just received a call from one of Joel's roommate and that he had something to tell me. Still not too alarmed, but to be safe I went to my room and shut the door. Gabe called with the news that Joel had been in an accident and that he was in surgery. They were doing surgery on his arm and that they were pretty sure they were going to be able save it, but they were unable to save his leg.

Just like that...in that instance...my emotional stability as a mother was changed forever.

Of course by the time I calmed down and remembered what I was doing, the Christmas cookies had transformed to Christmas coal. I called Greg and then Randy (two stabilizing influences in my life) and then Southwest to reserve a seat on the next flight out to CA. Greg immediately came home, I threw a bag of basically nothing together (who can think at times like that) and headed to the airport. I did have enough sense to call my good friend Dawn while on my way. Dawn is one of my amazingly thoughtful friends (I hope you all have a "Dawn" in your life)...and all though I wasn't quite sure what I needed from her at the time, she being the person she is...rearranged her holiday plans to make sure my kids had a place to stay, transportation and a Christmas present to open. On top of that...she got me the name and number of her husbands prosthetic guy (what an amazing guy Phil is!).

Honestly...I don't even remember how (I think maybe it was Ally who picked me up at the airport), but somehow I made it to the hospital where I was greeted by dozens of Joel's friends. Gabe and Rosie made it there about the same time and Gabe accompanied me in to ICU to see Joel for the first time since his accident. I was a nervous wreck as you can imagine. Joel was awake and all he could say was how sorry he was for ruining our Christmas. "Are you kidding me!!!! You're alive. What better present could we possibly ask for?"

I spent the next 8 days beside his hospital bed, dowsing him with ice cold water to break his never ending fever, draining his urine container, and rubbing his "phantom" foot because it burned so bad. His walls were lined from day break 'till well in to the night with family and friends there to comfort him. Ontie Melinda and Melissa came each evening to stand post so that Greg could drag me away for a couple hours break and a much needed shower. Leaving only made me more nervous so I would race back so that I could kneel by Joel's side and pray for his fever and pain to go away.


It was very windy the day Joel was released. I was scared to death to leave the security of a round the clock medical crew, but after begging the Dr's to let Joel stay one more day, they pushed us out in to the wind to mend at home. Home was Aunt Cindy's house (I'll never be able to pay her back for all she's done for us! She's amazing) where we were met by Cherif (Joel's friend who flew in from Hawaii to help out). Cherif, at the request of Joel, drove us to the yard where Joel's car was towed. What a frightening and humbling scene that was.

Those first couple weeks were much like the hospital stay except Joel's fever had finally subsided. Our days were filled with visitors and trying to figure out how to stay on top of the pain, his medication regimen, trying to figure out how to bath and take care of his wounds. The days soon filled up with follow up Dr. visits, wound care, physical therapy and prosthetic appointments. We filled our spare hours with visits to family and old friends.


With an astonishingly positive attitude (obviously feeling better and even poking fun at his situation here), Joel physically healed quite nicely and helped the Alder/Rodriguez/Arnold clan heal emotionally. After 3 months of being nurse made, I made a very tough decision to head back to Az to be with my very patient and understanding new husband. And in my usual fashion...nervously did what ever I could from 400 miles away to help Joel in any way I could, but never feeling like it was enough.

It's been 19 months and Joel has overcome every challenge with the same positive attitude every step of the way. He's got 2 new legs, he's driving, went back to Cal Poly with a renewed determination and graduated last month in an exciting field and now in the job market. As all of my kids are in one way or another...Joel is one of my heroes. I'm so very proud of the way he's over come all of the hurdles in his path. I'm so proud of the way he has picked up the pieces and brushed himself off and moved on with out skipping a beat. He's a truly amazing individual.

Of course as his mother...I'm always worried that behind his smile is pain and that he is just being strong for me. I just can't help but worry. I won't pretend to know the trauma that true victims go through, but I know many of you out there have gone through similar events and I'm sure you can relate. The pictures displayed above pop in to my head regularly and with out warning. I'll be driving down the street and the next thing I know...I've got tears rolling down my face. I'll be taking a shower and it will hit me that Joel has to hop in and balance on one leg to take his each day. I'll be working and get a sense of panic for no good reason. My cell phone rings at a late hour and my heart sinks. The holidays roll around and I make Joel call or text me daily so that I know that he's okay.

The lesson I learned when my brother Mike tragically died in a plane crash several years ago was to always express your gratitude when you have the chance because you may not ever get that chance again. From Joel I've learned to stay positive...to remember how lucky I am...Joel is still with us and he is healthy and his faculties are in tact. I still get to enjoy his engaging, energetic and caring personality. Reminding myself of this is what gets me through those moments of panic.

As I cried to Greg the other morning after receiving a text from one of my kids at 4:30am ...it's tough being a mom. It's so joyful, but can also be so painful. Regardless...I wouldn't change it for anything.

I love you Joel...I love you Gabe, Dami, Rhyannon, Ally, Rachel and Jessica.