Saturday, August 23, 2008

and next.......

comes Gabe. I went to see Dr. Nanni 2 days before my due date and he checked me and said...
"We must have miscalculated...you won't deliver for a couple of weeks...you're not ready." Honestly, I wasn't disappointed by those words, because frankly...I wasn't ready to have my first child. I didn't mind being pregnant and I was scared to death to be a mother and be responsible for another human being. That day I came home from work and started getting sick...I called my mom and told her that I thought I had eaten something bad or was getting the flu because I had cramps. She chuckled and informed me that I wasn't sick...I was having contractions. I had no idea...I was expecting labor to feel more like earthquakes (yah...I was young). I guess Dr Nanni was wrong too. I made it through the night, spent the majority of the next day at my moms and decided to head to the hospital that next evening. I didn't deliver Gabriel Marc until 4:10am and as soon as he was born, Mike went running out of the delivery room and down the hall way to announce to all family members waiting that we had a boy. He came trotting back down the hall way only to have the door shut in his face...you can't just walk back in to a sterile room.

Thank Heavens for mothering instincts...because for someone who was so scared and unprepared to have a child, pure instincts sure kicked in. Even the once gross thought of nursing came easy to me. How could it not be...I had just given birth to the most beautiful baby ever born (the same thought I got each time I had a new baby). I was sure all mothers were jealous of me.

I think there is something about August babies, because Gabe too was very easy. The only trouble we had with him as a baby was when at 4 months I went back to work and he basically starved for the first several days because all he knew was nursing...we had never given him a bottle.

Being the first nephew and grandchild from the Rodriguez side...and the fact that Onitie Melinda had take up photography, Gabe was of course the most photographed baby ever. And I don't think he ever took a bad one.

Gabe sailed all the way through middle school with ease and was an allstar athlete. He played soccer one season, he played baseball through freshman year in high school and even gave wrestling a go. High school proved to be a very challenging time for Gabe...it was through those difficult years that he spread his wings and rebelled...and who could blame him considering all he went through. Being the oldest child at home, it was he who was often held responsible by Mike for the actions of his siblings. And for those who now know what those years were like in the Rodriguez house hold, you can only imagine the challenge Gabe went through to cope through those years.

Gabe's senior year in high school an Army Recruiter talked him in to considering joining the military. The thought of my child leaving home just about killed me, but it was a motivator to get him through school. He graduated and 3 weeks later at 3am, the Recruiter picked him up and took him to LA where he would wait until that late afternoon to board a plane to Fort Sill Oklahoma. The Recruiter promised me that Gabe would be able to give me a call to tell me when and where he was departing from. The call didn't come until 2pm and that call gave me just over an hour to drive to LAX, run through the terminal to one of the last gates on that row to find him 4 bodies from boarding the plane. It was at that very emotional moment that I gave him the letter that I had written to him a couple days after he was born.

That day was the very first day I came home from work to a completely empty house and pure panic engulfed me. I was so upset I had to track down a neighbor to calm myself. Gabe's departure was much more than just my first baby leaving my home, it was my support leaving the home, but I didn't blame him...didn't blame him at all. His departure made me realize that I wasn't doing my children any favors by keeping them in a negative, miserable situation. I found a new place and moved myself and the rest of the kids out 1 month later.

Gabe has always taken care of his mother. He sent me paperwork from his fist military bank account to be a signer, with a note attached saying..."dip in to it when ever you need to". Although I never "dipped", I kept that note as a reminder of the generosity of my son, and was most upset when the old wallet (with nothing else in it) was stolen out of the center console of my car just a couple years ago. Also...when we moved out we didn't have a tv...as a family we started a collection jar to save up for one. Christmas time was approaching and we had just enough to get a 19". Gabe came home on leave a couple days before Christmas, saw what we had purchased, took it back and bought us a 27" tv for Christmas.

Gabe had originally signed up for 3 years, 3 years turned in to 7 as he signed up to go abroad, where he lived in Italy for 4 years (he absolutely loved it and would love to live there some day). Shortly after he returned, he joined the National Guard and served another couple years...so all in all, Gabe has served our country for 9 years.

It was in the National Guard that he met Rosie Gamez. I didn't want to like her when I first met her, but I'm not known for being a good judge of character. Rosie has turned out to be the most loving, hard working, supportive partner for Gabe. I love her dearly and love the beautiful grand daughter that she has given me (with #2 grand daughter on the way). Last year Gabe, Rosie and Mia moved out here to give Arizona a shot. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have family around.

Gabe, because you were the oldest and we were in the situation that we were in...I leaned on you and depended on you much more than is probably healthy. You went through a lot as a child and teenager and I know you harbor quite a bit of anger over the whole experience. I can't tell you how heavy the burden of guilt I carry for what I put you and your brothers and sisters through. I owe you a lot for taking care of me in a way that a son shouldn't have to. I am grateful every day for you and for all you do for me. I love your sense of humor, with your whit and ability to mimic just about any accent...you keep us all laughing. I'm very proud of you and of your family. I look forward to watching you grow as a person, a husband and a father.

Happy 29th Birthday my beautiful son....XOXO~ma

Saturday, August 16, 2008

and the celebrations continue.....

August 11, 1984 was one of the most memorable days of my life...

I was (almost) 9 months pregnant, I had spent the summer by a pool wearing a red and white striped bathing suite so I showed up at the hospital with a (what looked like a watermelon) striped belly. I didn't know what I was having, but I already had 3 boys...I was afraid to dream of having a girl. A friend of mine was working in labor and delivery that early morning, but would be getting off her shift soon. She checked me, informed me that I was indeed in labor and should stay - and then instead of heading home to be with her 4 boys...she stuck around to see me through my delivery. I wasn't quite sure why...I thought she was just being nice.

Dr. Nanni came in later and checked me...and as soon as he did...he looks up and says, "Do you want to know what it is?" Confused...I asked him how could he tell me now? He went on to inform me that my baby turned and is now breach and so he could tell what it is. I'm one of those very few that didn't ever want to know in advance what the sex of my baby was. I love surprises...and getting that BIG surprise after the hard work of labor was kind of my reward to myself (I know...go a head and say it). So...I told him "no...don't tell me"! "Wait a minute...breach...does that mean I have to have a C-Section?" Not this well prepared mother who had already given birth 3 times in less than 5 years. With the help of a couple nurses standing on stools on either side of me - pushing down on my stomach...Dr. Nanni reached inside of me...he was able to pull my baby girl out....butt first. It's a girl...it's a girl...it's a girl. I got what I was afraid to dream of!!!

That dream state from having a girl has continued now for 24 years. Rhyannon Joy Rodriguez is hands down the best and easiest child ever born. She was content, she never cried and always well behaved. As she grew I never had to worry about her behavior in school, she always did her work to the best of her ability and it showed...she always got great grades. She took piano lessons, then violin and then finally stuck with the cello. She played soccer, water polo, was in the Chaffey orchestra and took the metro link to LA on Saturdays to participate in the Cal St LA youth symphony. She was awarded the Mills Mall high school scholarship and played Janet in Greece. I'll never forget the day I got a call from Rhyannon while I was at work telling me that she was accepted to UCLA (just to name a few of her accomplishments).

I was a bit worried about her leaving home...although she was very capable and involved, Rhyannon was rather shy when it came to everyday, regular things like going in to a store on her own or even getting on the phone and ordering pizza. But I got her all moved in to her dorm and she never looked back.

She graduated from UCLA with a degree in Music History in 4 short years and did it all on her own,debt free. She's always had a passion for music (we all love music, but she's passionate). Her focus is not in performing it, but studying it and writing about it. She has proven her talent over and over again as she has been published many times (google her name...also check out rj rodriguez-lewis). And boy has she grown in other ways...she's moved to far away places with out a place to live or a job to support her self and with in days, has her life in order.

Rhyannon fell in love with an Englishman a couple years ago (they met while she was visiting a friend who was studying a broad). After going through the agony of a long distance relationship, she decided to change her '06 holiday visit to Oxford to an indefinite stay. They married in an intimate ceremony 6 months later in an Oxford court house on May 30th, 2007. I was sooo lucky to be there to witness it.

Now here we are in August of '08 and Rhyannon is back in the states, but on the east coast. She is in New York where she is waiting for her Masters program to start at NYU. Rob is still in Oxford finishing out his obligations and if all goes well, will join her in October.

Being Rhyannon's mother has been nothing short of a priviledge. She lives up to her name...she has brought me nothing but "joy" for 24 years. And because she has always been so easy...I owe her a HUGE apology. I'm guilty of taking advantage of the fact that she was always so unproblematic. I took for granted that she was always okay because she made wise choices. Don't get me wrong, I worry...as you all know I'm a worrier, but I worried less about her, because she is who she is.

Rhyannon...I don't ever want you to interpret my lack of worry over you as thinking less about you than I do your brothers and sisters....because NOTHING could be further from the truth. You are constantly on my mind. Your well being, your health and your happiness is my priority. I love you more than you will ever know and I don't ever want you to go a minute with out understanding that. I'm so, so very proud of you and I am grateful every day that I was given the opportunity to be called your mother!

Happy Birthday my beautiful girl! XOXOX~ma


Saturday, August 2, 2008

Two reasons to celebrate.........

August starts out with a BANG. August 1st is the day we (the Alder clan) celebrates not one, but two amazing people. And do we ever have reason to celebrate!

First off is the infamous Aunt Janet. Famous I say because those of us not just inside the family, but outside the family all know her as Aunt Janet, and love her and are loved by her. Here are just a few reasons why...
  • Janet makes everyone around her feel like they are the most important person...and it's sincere.
  • Janet makes everyone around her feel like they are beautiful and smart...and it's sincere
  • Janet has taken her nieces and nephews in as if they were her own...and it's sincere
  • Janet has taken children and friends of her nieces and nephews in as if they were her own...and it's sincere
  • Janet has always been there to listen and support us no matter what....and it's sincere
  • Janet has always changed plans and traveled far to be there for us at important events...and with a smile.
  • Janet has shown us all the true meaning of motherhood and home maker...she's so talented
  • Janet has always amazed us with such amazing meals and treats......she's so talented
  • Janet has always taken the time to teach us how to make amazing meals and treats...she's so generous
  • Janet is a great example of perseverance...she works so hard
  • Janet is a great example period....I try to follow her
  • Janet finally got to retire...and we couldn't be happier for her! And for us, because that means we get more time with her! (yah...I'm selfish that way)
I love you Janet. I don't think you even comprehend the impact that you've had on all of us. Words don't express the gratitude we all have for all you've done for us.

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The second reason (but certainly not the least) reason why we have to celebrate the 1st of August is Randy. We celebrate Randy because:
  • Randy always has a smile on his face....and it's contagious
  • Randy is always laughing...and it's contagious
  • Randy is always calm...and it's contagious
  • Randy never speaks an unkind word...and we try to follow his example
  • Randy comes home from work and finds his house full of people...and he welcomes them
  • Randy works very hard to support his family...and he is successful
  • Randy is unselfish and he shares with others....he's so generous
  • Randy is a great husband and father...he's a great example
  • Randy is a great brother and uncle...he's a great example
I love you Randy. I don't think you comprehend the impact that you have had on our lives. In my moments of trying to teach my kids correct principles, it's you that I most often use as an example. Thank you for being that example. Thank you for being so great to my best friend, my sister. Thank you for sharing and for always being so welcoming.

August is a crazy month...filled with birthdays every few days (and spilling in to September), but what better way to start it out with. Let the celebrations begin!